The Best Beers of 2023 – Stupidity Rising

Well, we’ve made it another rotation around the sun. And what a year it’s been! Everything is still terrible, nothing is good, the outside world is trying to end us at any given time. So on and so forth. But hey, at least we have alcohol to aid us in forgetting these things. A very healthy hobby we’ve got here, folks. Let us swiftly reminisce about the absurdity of it all:
The Sazerac company got sued because there’s no whisky in Fireball Cinnamon Whisky (if you drink Fireball, I’m not sure why you’re here). In the Spring, the tour-focused Oceangate company took a bunch of billionaires in a submersible called Titan, controlled by a video game joystick, down in the ocean and they all died a slow, oxygen-less death. Remember when 60,000 pounds of ammonium nitrate went missing off a rail car somewhere between Wyoming and California? The Bud Light non-story somehow became a story for people whose feelings are easily hurt. Months later, A-B decided to sell off a bunch of ‘craft’ acquisitions that nobody really cared about, to weed company Tilray. Anchor Brewing closed, and the ghost of Fritz Maytag will no doubt terrorize all who were involved. The government said aliens exist at some point in July, and the public met it with a collective “Oh, okay”. Can we get free healthcare now? No? We could go on, but for the sake of the (now 4) advertisers, let’s get to the meat and potatoes of why you’re here. The following are the best poisons I put in my body over the past 360 days. Let’s get stupid:

Hopewell Arrow of Time (Batch 002)
Enjoyed in the doldrums of January during a Beer Dorks (TM) tasting, admittedly, I have NO clue what this beer was about. My modus operandi is whenever I have an exceptional beer that explodes on the palate, I type it in my phone in the notes app. I went back to the entry, and, well – there was no description at all. I’m keeping it here anyways. According to the intrawebs, Arrow of Time is a 6.3% oak aged wild ale blended with Hopewell’s best barrel stock. Way to go, Lil Buddy! You kept my seasonal depression at bay.

Revolution Double Barrel VSOJ
When did this beer even come out? No matter, Rev once again slam dunks the Barleywine sportsball in the BIL sports hoop. Cranking English-style barleywines harder than the English themselves. Cuveed barley gasoline rested on Templeton Rye barrels for an extended period of time, a ludicrous amount of dark dried fruits over massive malt bill. An expression of malting provenance, a TED talk on barrel-aging from the magician Marty. A complex brew of truly epic parts, Revolution’s barrel program continued its dominance over midwestern palates. There’s nothing better when the roads are frozen and the body needs to be woken, than cracking a 12oz can of Deep Woods series jams. Attack the senses with a roaring fire of a brew. A stupid marriage of fireplace vibes and Jack Kerouac words…in beer form. There’s no better barrel program as of late, even if some of the applications are getting a little syrupy sweet.



Off Color Ten Crowns
Finally, the influential Czech dark lager makes an appearance. My favorite style when well-executed, your average taster getting notes of dark bread as well as a spice-hopped note lingering afterwards. The best of both worlds! We all have quests. Mine is finding the perfect CDL, and we got it here. I blind-tasted this along with Tree House Nomad and Working Draft’s version called Tracksuit Riot, and the Chicago brewery won easily. Straight up bullied the other two, if I can be frank. Deep caramel, light chocolate, simple hop spiciness that was my perfect moment. The Czech mice are persistent and delicious.



New Glarus Pilsner
Speaking of quests, it’s obvious that Dan Carey’s is creating the perfect Pilsner. He’s done that here. A cross between a German / Czech pils, purposefully hoppy for the style, but so wonderfully drinkable (there’s that fake word again!). Well-carbonated, biscuity perfection. Liquified bread – couldn’t get enough of the bubbles this Summer.



Working Draft Paige Against the Machine
The best beer had at Great Taste of the Midwest this year. I can only assume there is a lovely person named Paige who works for the brewery. She knows what she’s doing, as this cherrywood smoked wild rice lager wasn’t unduly campfire-y in the least. Gloriously dry finish demanded future sips. Just a faint post-swallow tickle of smoke, but didn’t detract from the brew whatsoever. No coughing fits, no need to move your seat from the bonfire. Silly name, but an incredible beer. Once again these dudes have the Madison beer scene padlocked up. They do not miss.



Hoppin Frog Frogichlaus (2022)
Quick – somebody tell me what a Swiss-style lager is? Can’t do it. I generally describe this Akron brewery as over-the-top reptilian amphibian brewing nonsense. That description is apt, so we’ll keep it here. Always conjuring high abv beers for Ohioans to continue to make poor life choices, Frogichlaus hops the line of German-Swiss heritage deep winter lagers of yore. The colossal 14% malt bomb begs the question: ‘Why’? Why not. A big, beefy, bold celebratory beverage that explicitly drinks above its weight class. These hoppin hamstrings were made for lagering. Furthermore, put all beer things from here on out in an 8oz can, thank you. A sweet tiny can of lagered love from the Kermit lovers.



Fox Farm Votive no 5
3rd annual college buddies trip took us to tropical New Haven, Connecticut this year. Why New Haven? Apizza (look it up), Lobstah rolls, fresh beer. Yale University. East coast ‘hospitality’. That’s why. And I’ll put it as simply as I can: Fox Farm Brewery, in Salem, CT, is heaven on Earth. After driving through quaker-filled back highways and rolling hills, you arrive on a small plot of land that houses a red barn and a few picnic tables adjacent to a garden. A gravel road ensnares the building, hand-written signs telling thirsty folks to come inside for pours or drive around for window bottle-service to-go. In the outskirts of civilization lies absolute perfection. I’ve never been to a brewery in which every beer had was stunning. 10/10, the entire round of ’em. Time stops here. Budgeting becomes a fruitless activity; you’re spending it all, and you’ll even smile doing it. The entire crew here was the most energetic, kind bunch I’ve experienced in awhile. It made me believe in hospitality. Fox Farm legitimately made me fall in love with beer again. Like it was 2006 again and the world was my oyster. Votive no 5 was a high gravity stout with 2+ years of age on it, taking alternating slumbers inside cylindrical caskets of Buffalo Trace, Willett, and amazingly – Foursquare rum barrels. The experience was the deepest of the year. 16% but supremely quaffable, it simply did not make sense. Barrel treatments provided innate complexity without smashing my palate with hot hot heat. Fox Farm is nestled halfway between NYC and Boston, and I implore you to visit if you’re ever in the vicinity. Perhaps you’ll have the same other-worldly experience I did. It would be hard not to.





Fox Farm Epilogue
As previously stated, this entire list could feature every Fox Farm beer I drank, but knowing that not many have access to this delicious nectar, I’m just picking my 2 favorites. I checked my luggage on the return flight, which was basically 45 pounds of bubble-wrapped wares, shoutout Southwest Airlines. Epilogue is a mixed spontaneous fermentation Saison blend. Hoppy, rustic, and funky. Akin to waking up in a Belgian barn, I’m guessing. Smells of freshly cut grass, happy non-biblical locusts, and equine dreams. The countryside funk that the afterlife must be surrounded with. Believe in Saison. Hoof it on over.



Tree House Double Shot Pumpkin Spice
Ok so maybe the owners are skirting taxes. Maybe they did screw over investors. Maybe they did acquire some lavish automobiles. ALLEGEDLY (the lawyers said I had to write that). I think the bigger question, if I may pose it, could be: How is Tree House able to produce cloudy, hop-forward, juicy, hype-y nonsense AND yet double down on the Reinheitsgebot in the 21st century? And do both so well? Of course there’s Julius and Green and Juice Machine and the like. Of course the Double Shot and Curiosity series has it’s feral followers. But how can we, in the year 2023, also execute a smoked marzen, a black ipa, and an ESB so well? It’s about balance, baby. And Double Shot stout has it, even with autumnal spices inter-mingling here. I’m certainly not above indulging in an iced PSL during the Fall, let’s be real. But throwing in that idea of Starbucks beverage into the boil of a chocolate-forward, roast-intense stout? You’d think the equation would be disastrous, a sweet concoction of Lindt majesty. But somehow, this stout drank light and inviting. Like a cashmere sweater for your mouth. It wasn’t over the top or lazily attenuated; it was a perfect blend of cinnamon, spice, and gourd-like niceties. Best had between 9:30am-11:30am. I’m a basic bitch, through and through. Be amazed at one of the many Tree House breweries popping up in your eastern seaboard town soon, throw away money with reckless abandon. Drink the lupulin juice, and have an upper of pumpkin stout proportions. The stupidity continues…



Central Waters Birds of a Feather
While most spirit-focused beer iterations should’ve just continued to be their normal cocktail selves, Central Waters has inevitably cracked the code with this tiki series of beers from the Summer. And still, these breweries try to shove the flavors of an Old Fashioned down our esophageal tubes in beer form. It typically does not work. Breweries flipping through the cocktail rolodex and bartender guides to develop the next beer recipe, please, just stop. My stupidity meter is maxed out. Nobody is asking for grasshopper stouts, brandy Alexander barleywines (wait, that IS a good idea), or Negroni sour ales. But here’s MKE via Amherst stirring up something fun even this c/old heart could enjoy. Almond paste? Passion fruit? Check and check, they’re both here in Birds of a Feather. Big body, gritty, sugar-laden coconut dreams and tiny paper floaty umbrella in this red-hued beverage.
Some R&D could continue on this series, and I wouldn’t be upset. I can’t imagine these would last long before turning into undrinkable syrups, but when fresh – this stuff was dynamite. Quite a surprise.



Brasserie DuPont Avec Les Bons Vieux
That familiar SdP yeast-forward note with a strong malty bite, banana-clovey essence. Exquisite, for the cultured scoundrel. Southern Belgium bestows necessity – drink it now if you can find it on tap. Should still be making the rounds at the Hollander brick & mortars in MKE and Madison.





Russian River Shadow of a Doubt
How kind of my very close and personal friend Vinny Culirzo to create such a beer geared towards my own palate. Is a 9.8% imperial porter just a stout? What if California Bigfoot is just blurry? If I stop hating everything, will I cease to exist? Just *how* stupid is this hobby? How much money do I spend on beer in a year? So many questions in life. This big beer was all bakers chocolate and tobacco, and I don’t even really like that leaf. Scary good, just like a Hitchcock film. No reason this should finish as light and dry as it does. Once again, pure Warlock behavior from the Windsor team. A byzantine beverage if there ever was one. Layered chocolate notes, like the first time you had real chocolate bar instead of the Hershey’s/Nestle milk chocolate garbage. Somebody make brownies with this.



Well, there you have it. Make sure to come back next year around this time for the same ramblings. Life’s too short to drink bad beer. Do your part. Make your parents proud. Don’t be stupid.